Aaliyah's Birthday

With Aaliyahs birthday approaching, I find myself going back to the day of her birth, and the days that shortly followed.

Most people look back at the birth of their children and smile, that even through the pain they were handed this precious little bundle to love. I dont. I look back and remember the anxiety, the pain, the uncertainty. It was nothing short of horrific.

I will never forget the look on my mums face when she was born, a look of sheer horror. The room went from being calm to a frenzy of what seemed like a million people.
I remember asking if Aaliyah was ok, when no one else replied, my mum said "of course she is sweetheart". What i didnt know at the time was that mum really had no idea if she was fine or not, she just didnt have the courage to tell her daughter that the child she had just laboured 50 plus hours for was dead. ?they eventually got a whimper out of her and she was whisked away to NICU, leaving me to be pieced back together. It took them over 3 hours. They wheeled me to see her but I was too sick and passed out. It was another 24 hours before I would see my baby.

My recovery was horrible. Months of doctors visits, physios and even another hospital stay. But nothing can compare to my emotional recovery.

When Jose discovered her little ear, they quickly pointed out that there could be many other defects too. Kidney failure and Heart Problems were the first to be mentioned. We were devastated. I felt like a failure.

The first few months of Aaliyah's life were spent going in and out of hospital. We were told that she would have kidney problems, heart problems, eye sight issues, growth issues and could be retarded.

She would need therapy, hearing aids and on and on and on it went.

Our hearts ached. Jose was in denial, I just about had a melt down.

Its interesting looking back now, seeing how far she has come, indeed how far we all have come. She has defied the doctors. Through all the tests, everything came back perfect. No kidney issues, no heart issues and certaintly not mental retardation. She has excelled in so many ways. She is a fighter our little Aaliyah is. Her speech and language test at least a year above what she should be. She is a social butterfly. The cheekiest little muffin that their ever was.

I look back at her birthday with mixed emotions, heartbreak for what might have been and absolute pride. She has proved them all wrong, from the child that was born with out a heart beat, to a little girl full of life. She makes all those around her smile.

In some ways I am glad that this is the path we have to walk. My faith in humanity and the spirit of kindness has been restored. Its been downright hard, but it has made us who we are today. It has made Aaliyah who she is today. We are stronger, she is stronger. I couldnt imagine her any other way. A bright, bubbly bundle of energy with killer curls. My heart aches with love for her.


I would go through it all again in a heartbeat if I had to, because our little Aaliyah, well she makes it all worth while.

Happy birthday for Wednesday little princess, Mummy and Daddy love you to the moon and back. xxxxx

It has been nearly 2 years since that bittersweet day.